No idea how the exam went. April will be my lucky month, lol.

Winter has left. Not ‘ended’, but ‘left’. Funny, right? Even seasons are lively. They come back. It does not snow where I live, but the landscape becomes hard to appreciate when it’s wrapped in a blanket of fog. Nothing to worry, though. It will become easy with the advent of spring. Never thought seasons will turn to a metaphor for changes going on in my life, but just how the fog of winter clears, I wish I to gain more clarity in life as spring arrives. This winter was not easy. Clouded vision, a heavy mind and a freezing cold heart. That was this winter for me.

Still .. I know a season doesn’t deserve hate. “Nobody deserves hate” as they say. But that’s too boring. I say no to hate because hating is easy. I ain’t no big shot, but I ain’t even so weak that I will run away from the hard things. The hard thing is to hope. Keep hoping for better times. Turning hate to hope is important. I hope to enjoy coming winter more. Even that’s a necessary part of life. Winters bring Christmas, holidays and New Year. New years feel so much like how trees shed their leaves for the new ones to sprout in spring. Every winter brings me another chance to improve. Maybe I am biased. I am a summer child after all. Also, it’s easier to find give flowers to people you live in summers. Long live April!

I like the Thrissur Pooram festival celebrated in Kerala. I am happy to hear that since last year, the Kerala police has started providing serious security and vigilance to the festival. This will encourage more people to come to Thrissur and celebrate the festival. Happy to see the festival will continue safely.

A lot of people in the Chainsaw Man fan community say "Asa got no rizz" or sometimes even that "Asa is a femcel". No, Asa is none of that.

Asa is literally the most relatable character in Chainsaw Man's high school arc. She prepared for the aquarium date in hopes Denji doesn't get bored. Perhaps she even stayed up all night, researching about starfishes. She is a hard-working, dedicated girl. Even with her presumption that a boy like Denji will just fall for her because she's a girl, she still doubted herself and hence decided to prepare for her date. She trips! She always f*cking trips! Yet, she tries to get up. She's just like the rest of us: trying to swim and climb out of the deep well of tears of guilt we dig for ourselves. Please do not hate Asa. She's like you, me and any other frightened person. Frightened of comparing ourselves to others, frightened of making mistakes, frightened of talking to people, frightened of making mistakes because we lack the moral understanding of what's right or wrong. Who even knows what's right and what's wrong?! Nobody does. The best and worst thing about life is that it's not a math equation. Nothing is absolute. And we are all just constantly judging ourselves, and being judged by ourselves and everybody else. She's literally a victim of nothing yet something everyone is a victim of. Stop the Asa hate. Let's all love Asa.

My partner has been to a fair with her family. It's little late night now, but she seems to be having a lot of fun so I am happy :)

Just got a little lonely. It's okay, though ..

There is dog shit in the middle of the footpath I walk every day. It's been 5 months and it's still there. Hasn't even changed shape. I presumed weathering is strong enough to decay it. I couldn't be more wrong, and my disappointment is off the charts. Sad.

Dog shit — 1, mother nature — 0.

Seems like I have not been working hard enough.

But that's like every other hard-working person. Tomorrow I am gonna finish lots and lots of pending tasks.

Been out of habit for three years now, but it was a pleasure "study" films. Studying films sounds so boring. Studying anything art sounds boring be it painting, music, dance, poetry, or, well, films. But trust me, those were some of the better days of my usually depressing as well as monotonous life.



It was always my wish to study in a Japanese-style high school. No, no! not because of cute girls in short skirts. I am not that delusional! However, lucky me, that I found a cute girl even in my school; no big deal. The reason was so that I could have some after-school club activity. That must had been so fun. To kill time, I started watching a movie everyday. I watched one goddamned movie every goddamned day! Starting with the classics: Hera Pheri and its sequel, A Wednesday!, Deewaar. As said, I watched "movies".



With Anurag Kashyap came my "films" era. After Udaan, it was impossible to go back to "movies". In fact, Udaan still remains one of my all time favorite films even today -- and perhaps it will stay like that all my life. Then I started watching international films. Started slow with anything by Mira Nair. Then came the Tarantinos, the Scorseses, the Finchers and the Nolans. I spent the greatest amount of my time living and breathing in these people's worlds. I watched their films on loop -- once, twice, thrice, a hundred times. I liked Scorsese the most because of his diversity perhaps. He made Taxi Driver but he also made The Wolf of Wall Street//. Both are decades apart and it can be seen. The 90s were more silent. Poetry was much more in vogue. You can't make the same bold films that require "reading" gestures of actors post 2010. Can you? With an audience bearing attention span of a goldfish, no. And with a world where dopamine spikes are one swipe away, definitely not. Good to see Scorsese adapted to the world rather than dying out like many directors who could never change.



My fingers are tired of tired. I will finish this post later. Goodnight.

I am quite of a fan of ants. I find the the species Megaponera analis and Camponotus floridanus very interesting. They can perform surgeries through targeted amputations and use antibiotics to cure infections caused by bacteria including Pseudomonas aeruginosa. It's a notorious bacteria that is found on burns if they do not cure properly. There is also Solenopsis invicta, which is kind of daunting, but they too are very cool! These are only some of my favorite species. I like ants and I recommend reading about them.

My college entrance exam is in a week. Naturally, I am scared. I wish I could enjoy some ice-cream right now. But, ice-cream alone is not enough. For these primal fears, you need someone special, too, to have ice-cream with. Still ... I think I am gonna make it this time. I can definitely do it. Best of luck to me!

I am very excited for the new season of Dandadan and Chainsaw Man: International Assassins Arc, both of which are to be released this year. Had lots of fun enjoying Spy×Family season 3, but now I will have to wait for some time. If only they could release a movie meanwhile.

My girlfriend and I tell each other stories from the penguin island. That's how we put each other to sleep. It's beautiful and I recommend others to do that, too. But don't copy our penguins! That'll make you look too stupid to even make good stories. Pick anything but penguins! They're the cutest!!

Even getting an internship is now so hard. You've to beg for referrals. Tried looking online. It's not 2020 anymore. Python and TensorFlow are now worth rat's ass; even owning toilet paper now seems more useful than knowing them. Don't know how I will survive in this job market. I guess all I can really do is keep spamming requests. Project works also go ignore. Cold mails don't get replies. It's hard out there, man. It's hard. Especially in this winter.

She's coming back after almost a fortnight. I am very happy! She finally paid the hospital an important visit and she's (kinda-kinda) fine! Can't wait to see her again. I so, so love her!

Watched Look Back the second time yesterday. Feeling inspired. Although, anything that Fujimoto-sensei puts is usually good. Maybe I should pick up art again like I have decided to pick up blogging. How about ... blogging about art?

I like waffles and my usernames are dear to me. So, I am happy that I could claim the username I have right now (^ ^)

Tired of the new web. Feels good to be back. To hell with whatever Twitter is.