i so wish i could go back to being a 15 year-old. i was content if nothing else. i never felt desperate or deprived of peace. i was confident that there's nothing i can't handle. and now i have no peace at all. i whine all the time and i'm fed up with myself. i don't want to talk to anyone anymore.

i was in a modern-looking labyrinth filled with tall rows of storage units with those trays you have to pull out. if you've ever played persona 5, it was like the last area of kaneshiro's palace with the shifting walls.



it was very crowded, and there were a lot of simpsons characters scrambling around, trying to find a murderer by opening trays. i was joining the effort, albeit very lazily... i think i only opened one tray that was blue.



also, there were two grown-up versions of two simpsons characters that i think i lowkey made up in my head. the guy character was professing love to the girl - he wanted to date her. i saw this happen with a non-moving camera shot like a movie.



for some reason the dream abruptly cut to another movie-esc shot of goro akechi from persona 5 entering hope dream academy (from danganronpa) with the other danganronpa characters. however, hope dream academy was a bank building, with automatic glass sliding doors. i have not played danganronpa (some of my friends have though), but i rememember yasuhiro hagekure and kyoko kirigiri were two people that were entering the building.



I was awake but asleep at the same time while dreaming this. It was a very uncomfortable experience. all my senses weren't sensing the right way

i got really, really sick. it was painful. i'm recovering now, though. and i've learnt a lot thanks to this sickness and the break i've been forced into. because i got forced into a break, i've had time to think slowly about lots of things. when i get back to work, i'm going to do my best to apply what i've learnt. starting off with realizing my worth.

Testing helloooo

hello... testing testing!

Eble ne estis bona ideo por vi vidi ion tiel internan, sen esti renkontinta vin.

Hi-ho! Test post

March 23, 2026

Monday 9:34AM



ENTRY#12



Hello, it’s been a month since I last posted anything—such as updates on my blog, my art page across platforms, and my website on Nekoweb. I remember my promise back in December 2025 that I would post a tutorial on how I draw urban sketches on Ibis Paint X, especially since I’m now using a tablet. But unfortunately, I got busy with household chores, doing eldest daughter duties, and going to work. Sometimes, I still try to self-study at work because I don’t want to feel stuck with my skills.



Yeah, speaking of work… in the past weeks, I experienced SA—you know, sexual assault or harassment. It’s kind of traumatizing, and I haven’t healed yet. It happened on Saturday, March 14, 2026, around 3:39 PM or 4:00 PM. I was on duty until 5 PM, and it was my bathroom break. There was a guy—I don’t know what he was doing, but I saw him with some papers, trying to gather or fix something. Then he asked me why I hadn’t gone home yet. I told him that me and sir were on duty until 5 PM. He nodded and went straight to the bathroom.



After that, he was still working on some papers, and I asked him something. We had a little chat, but then he started acting weird. He stood up and tried to shake my hand, but my hand was wet. I was about to go out to the pantry when he started approaching me in a strange way. He touched my hands, my cheeks, and then hugged me. The good thing is I was able to block my chest from him, but I mentally froze. I was really confused because I don’t like being touched.



I walked away >_< Creepy… what a creep. He even thought I was scared of ghosts or entities, that’s why he hugged me—but hell no. I was in the office trying to process everything in my mind, like, “What the hell just happened?” TT_TT



I told my friend Bia what happened. Then, two days later—Monday, March 16, 2026—I reported everything that happened during my duty on Saturday. I told sir and HR. From their faces, I couldn’t tell if they were disappointed in me or in that guy, because they kept talking about how he is as a person, like “he’s like this, like that,” blah blah blah. Like, what the hell? A dude is a dude. T_T



They eventually punished him, and only then did they realize what he did was wrong. But seriously, that was literally sexual assault.



P.S. I’m still recovering. I’m not fully healed yet.



sincerely,

🍀 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓎𝓁𝑒𝒶𝒻🍀

Ok. hoy genuinamente pensé en abandonar la carrera. Estaba normal revisando mi sílabo (un infierno por cierto) que para animarme murmuré la frase "yo elegí esta carrera". Mi madre, al lado, no hizo nada más que resonar mi sentimiento. Eso me frustró tanto, porque traté de convencerla tantas veces de cambiarme de la misma.



¿Pero, realmente elegí mi carrera? O acaso es el "mal menor" en un mundo que cada vez se enfoca más en el dinero, el "éxito". ¿Realmente mi primera elección?

Tal vez, en otra vida, logré enfrentarme a mis padres y logré estudiar historia o filosofía. Siempre me gustó enseñar, pero como dijo mi padre: "hay que ser un emprendedor".



Agh, odio esa frase, y es mi mayor miedo terminar así. Tal vez, mi destino estaba escrito desde que decidí ser una people pleaser con ellos, o tal vez, tal vez, esté encerrada en una caverna. Y a pesar de ver la luz, decido encerrarme y autoconvencerme que aunque sea, tuve algo de agencia en esta decisión.



En fin, siento que esta es una carrera sin final. Donde algunos tienen ventaja, ya sea por sus familias, o por que genuinamente les gusta este desafío. Lamentablemente, a mí no tanto.

This is nsfw content.